So I broke up with S. Via text message. That sounds horrible; let me explain: Like I said, I called him extremely upset.� I felt as though I needed him; I needed someone and at the moment I felt I had no one. I called him expecting to be rescued and instead he just set me free. That five minute conversation told me I needed to break up with him.� It was over but still I waited until 10:00. Four hours later... Nothing.� No phone call, no text message, absolutely nothing.� I called him; he wouldnapos;t answer.� I texted him; he wouldnapos;t text back.� My final text message was sent to say that I was done.� Iapos;ve given up; itapos;s over.� This was two days ago and he still hasnapos;t contacted me.� He doesnapos;t care.� Now as I sit here alone, confused, melancholy if you will; I canapos;t help but think where he is, who heapos;s with.� Not that I care; I just resent the idea that heapos;s probably out having a great time with his apos;girlsapos;, while Iapos;m here as lonely as can be.� I do understand that it wonapos;t be this way forever; in the near future I should be talking to other guys and getting my shit together.� But for right now, in this moment, I realize my present predicament and I resent him for everything.� In a way, I regret the past 3 1/2 years because I feel they were years spent dishonestly.� He had been dishonest for a long time and I dealt with it.� I should have gotten out earlier but unfortunately I was too love drunk. And FYI for me to say I apos;regretapos; something is extremely unusual.� Iapos;m just in a very unhappy state right now.
Perhaps it is also because of everything I am going through with C.� A very ridiculous fight that I donapos;t even feel like thinking about or writing about because it gets me so sick.� Basically, Iapos;m breaking ties with more and more people because Iapos;m learning (the hard way) that a lot of people just care about themselves.� I donapos;t know whether to be upset about this discovery or take from it an idea that maybe I need to focus on myself more as well.� IDK.
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